I can only offer tips for managing/getting solid work time in the home and balancing work/family.
Like it or not, you're going to have to be selfish _some of the time_. The difference between being a shithead and a good person is if you're selfish all of the time.
Hobby/family balance is taking time out for yourself. If you automatically assign all time outside of work to family time, then you're not going to have time to dev games/pursue hobbies. And that's fine. You can do that. But to pursue personal projects _you're going to have to be a bit selfish, some of the time._
Further to being selfish:
- There must be a room for you to work in that is completely isolated
- You have to set up a policy for the times that you're working on your hobby.
- Seal yourself away for short time periods (1-2 hours tops) in the evenings (8pm-9:30pm?) where you get to pursue your hobbies. If you do longer sprints, then you're starting to get a bit too selfish.
Look, 2h family time can be >= 4h family time. If you spend 6pm-8pm with the family, then go pursue your hobbies, all bets are your relationship will be just as healthy with them if you spent 6pm-10pm then went to sleep. As long as you see your family every day and you spend 1-2 hours with them, and communicate with them during that time, your relationship will be maintained/grow. I have no reference for this but there's a certain threshold where there is very little negative impact if you spend 1-2 hours less with them.
And what happened to weekends? If you spend 4 hours Sat+Sun morn (before the rest of your family gets up) that's a solid 8 more hours over the weekend.
No references for this, just personal experience what worked for me with 2 small kids in the house (who are not my own).